As I enter my 34th week of pregnancy, I cant help but have a lot of conflicting thoughts. The last trimester is when there is most of baby's brain development. Am I doing the right things to helpthat? Does baby actually like the food that I eat now? Does the fact that I have resumed having cravings mean anything?? How about the fact that just today I crammed nearly half a jar of Nutella without even realising what I was doing? Crazy thoughts like that.
Then there are other thoughts. Being at home for my son, Siddhant since the 6th month of his conception was a carefully thought out and rational decision. But that did not mean that I never missed out on all the things a "working" woman did. I missed petty inter office rivalries. I missed the heavy gossip sessions with my colleagues. I missed that thrill of having a looming deadline and achieving targets. I missed just getting out of the house and meeting adults. But if u ask me,"would I choose that instead of being with my child during his formative years", the answer would be a resounding NO.
Would I miss the fact that even though I had a bad case of the "baby blues"(post partum depression, if u want to get technical about it), my baby's face would light up the moment he caught my eye? Would I miss the fact that he had reserved his first smiles for me? Would I miss the almost telepathic knowledge of what he was doing in the next room gained from 24/7 being with him? Would I miss the fact, that though he treats his dada like Santa Claus,he comes to me when he feels low?
Yes, I am a "stay-at-home" mom. But I get really irritated when people ask me "but what do you do for a living?".
Look, I am a homemaker. That does not mean that I am just "sitting at home". When I remark about this to my hubby, he says, "Vrin, I see you nagging, shouting, dusting, sweeping, swabbing, cutting, cooking, cleaning, washing, phoning, ironing,....but very rarely do I see you just SITTING".
If you ask me, "don't I miss being independent, having my own dough to spend.....things like that?", I would say "yes". But again, that is a small price to pay.
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Hey Vrinda! There are so many times I look at the way Siddhu comes and whispers a little secret in your ears or when the two of you share a joke together; and I always think that it's the sweetest thing in the world......I guess nothing can really compare with being there for your child when he needs you the most.No sacrifice would seem small as against that. It may not even feel like a sacrifice. It's something you probably just had to do and went ahead and did.........Most working women would probably grumble and find fault with 'stay-at-home moms'. Many would think you're wasting away your life, after all that education and learning you equipped yourself with....... But come to think of it, your kids will always love you and be grateful for the decision you made. Your kids will have what so many kids lack these days - their parents actually "being there" for them, whenever they need them. I think in the long run, it's what your kids feel that matters more than anything else in the world.........Whenever it's my turn to do the same, I don't know whether I'll be able to do the same as you, but I'm so glad you're there for Siddhu...... He may take a few years to realise how valuable your decision to stay at home has been. So, on his behalf and on behalf of the little one on the way, "Thanks Mama".
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